Monday, July 30, 2001 11:46 a.m.

I don't know why I jumped on the wishlist bandwagon. All it means is that the list will be deleted by me, when I finally buy something.

Ok, so I finally got my license, did I say that yet? I am spending today hopefully entering a few more books, at least until 5 or 6 so that I can play everquest.

Oh, and have you all been watching Port Charles, you know there is a vampire story on it...

Saturday, July 28, 2001 12:21 a.m.

oooh and House of Leaves is so fucking great. I insist, if you are on the search for something new and amazing to read. You must get this book.

And, you also must get POE's Haunted CD... favorite songs are Hey Pretty and 5 1/2 minute Hallway

Saturday, July 28, 2001 12:13 a.m.

Do you ever wish you were someplace you aren't? I've been peering into the mind of m and everytime she hurts, I wish I were a phone call away. That way I could sweep her off her feet and take her to IHOP.

I remember living in los angeles when I was 19 and having to go to IHOP because my roommates were making love, nah... they were fucking. And, it was just a single. They were on the Murphy Bed and I slept on the couch, two others were on the floor. If it wasn't IHOP, we would move to the kitchen and make biscuit donuts. After we forced them to fuck in the bathtub.

Ahh, my smarmy early 20's. I'm sitting here, having just taken care of myself, because well... you know I live alone. Sad state of affairs when I can beat off to the friggen news. Someone take me away from this agony.

ahh, my smarmy mid 30's.

Thursday, July 26, 2001 04:41 p.m.

man, this is a creepy book. I highly recommend House of Leaves. The link is down below. And, apparently if you listen to POE's Haunted cd, it corresponds to the book. They are brother and sister.

I have the promotional CD that has stuff from both of them. If you can get past the Introduction, and you must read that to get a feel for the writing, all should go well. It reads much like a spoken word poem. so, it is a good idea to at least listen to the CD. I think. But, it's just an odd... and engrossing book. Because every time I set it down, I find myself wanting to read a little more. I also read the first part out loud. It was funny, because the promo cd was on and it was him reading portions and me reading. I swear my insane neighbor must think I'm more insane than she is... all these garbled words spewing through my bedroom window.

Ok... off to finish this chapter and hop on EQ... or not.

Thursday, July 26, 2001 02:24 p.m.

Trying to read: House of Leaves

well all my tickets have been paid and I can get my license tomorrow. And I still have money to buy a car and get insurace. WOOT!...

Do you know what this means? It means, I can drive again, I can visit people. I can get a job, I can be a real live adult man, who can go be with whoever he wants to be with because he'll have a car to get to that person's house. Ok, so I sound like a child. Hell, I felt like an idiot when I gave the judge a thumbs up and said AWESOME. Well, she cut off $1000 from my ticket.

So, I had thought my tickets were at $5000, they turned out to only cost $2085 for three tickets.

I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

Friday, July 20, 2001 11:38 a.m.

Nothing written, just had to tell you about being called Harry Potter last night at Friday's. This drunk guy came over to our table and pointed to me and yelled across the bar to his friends that I was harry potter. He started wielding this blow up Corona bottle and started attacking me. My friend said hey at least he didnt hit your Goblet of fire... I came back later when he attacked me again... hey, watch it... you aren't getting near my chamber of secrets.

He came back over again, and discovered my name was Joe. I was at the other end of the table discussing EverQuest with Robert, a friend who plays with me. When I hear this guy shouting to his friends. And, here's Joe who spends all his time in West Hollywood. Now, it shouldn't have bothered me, but it did. If I was going to WeHo all the time it probably would be fine, but hell... I'm gettin squat. And, he obviously didnt see me with my hand on Desiree's back, sliding beneath her pants. She just has the softest skin...

I also got the letter from the IRS, and I am going to receive a $300 check. Big suprise, didn't expect to get any money. So, I have to say I'm sorta happy the big Strategery prez did one good thing.

Off to mail some books. Talk to ya laters

Tuesday, July 17, 2001 04:36 p.m.

I decided that I need to write something everyday. So here's today's writing. I don't know if anything will come of it... but, I sorta like it.

Cleah danced around to music only she could hear. The music remembered from her days in court: of violins and pianos, of a flute, a clarinet and a cello. Her arms stretched out from her sides as she spun with abandon. Her voluminous red ball gown billowing around her legs, as she tilted her head back, closed her eyes and smiled.

I stand here and watch her dance although the rain sliding down the window makes for difficult viewing. It’s as though it were weeping for Cleah. The storm raged on and the rain makes my joy more difficult. The wind attempted to plunder me of my pleasure as I watched her gallivant about. Suddenly she stopped, turned and looked me straight in the eye.

In my haste, I smiled. What else could I do? I had been standing at the window my handprints glowing against the glass. The look upon Cleah’s face was one of utter fear, so I stepped back and bowed. As I rose, she smiled and came out of her curtsy. I raised my arm as though grasping her hand brought my right arm up before me around her imaginary back and began a waltz. And, now she stood watching me. Her hands pressed to the glass, her nose fluffing at the window.

How I wished it really were her in my arms. How I wanted to just throw caution to the storm and race outside. To gather her in my arms and dance the Waltz of Madness.

Thursday, July 12, 2001 11:53 p.m.

I changed the poem a little... what do you think? I might use it for a challenge over at blackglass... not certain though.. maybe it's just crap and I'm kidding myself.

I wish I could lie beside you
and trace the curves of your body with my fingertip,
discover where one part of you begins and ends.

I would trace along the love lines,
watch for the flutter of your eyelashes
as my fingertip brushed lightly over
a certain delicious part of you.

You would release a satisfied breath
and I'd realize that I'd just traced
the back of your knee.

Each subtle shiver would get the
presence of my mouth.
Sealing each pleasure point with the tip
of my tongue and the pressure of my lips.

Then I would have a memory map
of your deceptive beauty,
ingrained within my mouth.

Wednesday, July 11, 2001 06:24 p.m.

I wish I could lie beside you
and trace the curves of your body with my fingertip,
discover where one part of you begins and ends.

tracing along the love lines,
watching the flutter of your eyelashes
as my fingertip brushes lightly over
a certain delicious part of you.

I release a satisfied breath
as I realize that I had just traced
the back of your knee.

And so for every flutter that I see,
gets the prescence of my lips.
Sealing this pleasure point with the tip
of my tongue and the pressure of my lips.

So, that I now have
a memory map of your body,
ingrained upon my mouth.

Wednesday, July 11, 2001 06:08 p.m.

Well, changed the look... we'll see how long this boring piece of shit will last. Been sitting here listening to the Poe cd that she did with her brother the author of House of Leaves, which is a really odd book. But, I love this one song about Carrie and her leather pants... and mullhullond drive I think it's called.

Anyway, I have an appointment with the church I go to ... St. Louise to talk about working on a website with them. Am thinking I might do a mockup thing on bastardgenres, but I don't know if I should show it to them.

Have been thinking about writing again... this cd is helping, I think I hear Antigone clamoring to talk again, and words have been bounding inside my head to come to my fingertips. I don't know if it's me who is stopping the words from coming, when it's driving me insane because no words come.