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my site: ICQ: them: websites: past crap: |
I just want you all to know I was doing my part for something, damn. Ok, kiddies, this is the bad thing about taking acid and poppers(amal nitrate for the unfaggy initiated). I so can't remember what the word is that I was doing my part for. But, I was listening to Fatboy Slim's The Hate. Playing it loud for all of my middle class white neighbor's in this condo complex surrounded by the not white norm. On a completely different note, I am also listening to The Judds, Love Can Build a Bridge. Well, see... I'm doing my part for whatever that cause is that everyone is talking about. And, I just need to stand here and praise Country and Western for this simple reason. Have you ever been at a gay pride where they have the C&W dance area? Well, gotta tell you there is nothing more desirable than seeing two husky men in tight black jeans dancing close, one standing in front with his ass just perfectly connected to his partner behind him.... Ahh, so many times, I wanted to learn how to do this dance, but was always too drunk to partake of the remembering that was needed. Oh, and another thing... although, I suppose I could have just done another entry. But, I decided to ride the bike to work. Ride a bike? you ask? well, I fucked up... and here kiddies is another word of wisdom. Pay your tickets when you get them, or don't get them. See, I have about $5000 in tickets and a suspended liscense just keeping me from getting in a car and visiting all of my online friends. So, I have to ride a bike. And, I bet some of you other folks are wondering... God, this guy must be ancient why does he keep mentioning his parents? Well, see pop, lost his job a while back. And, I moved home to help them out. So, we live in happy splendor. Them upstairs and me down.
Oh, and one more little thing... this just feels stupid to mention, but do you ever feel like you want to say it, but you dont really want to talk about it? So, I have to tape this show that I absolutely love. only started watching it because it's filmed in my hometown, and now Roswell is like one of my favorite shows. It's so funny, that I base my tv on the fact that it's filmed here, but it's so odd driving down the street and seeing the big huge green Ok, I think that's enough... Damn my fingers hurt.
ok, so is it me or do I feel like I start every one of these with OK? So, anyway... I'm entering titles in my inventory, and this Violet Winspear chicky wrote some interesting titles. Satan Took a Bride and Dearest Demon and Devil in a Silver Room. whoa, those women and their romances...
mornin all. Someone told me that they loved reading my pitas, because I babbled so well. I guess that sorta means, I don't have much to say... lol, or just know how to really put what I'm thinking on paper. my morning hasn't been the best, just went through 94 emails that were from all the way back in December, which I haven't been getting. So, found all those angry emails, the people I wanted to feature, people who wanted to be hosted(ok, well 1 person). Someone I met at work who had an equally sick sense of humor, and this: THIS IS AN ADVERTISEMENT *imagine this little girl with a pudgy face in a nice frock with pigtails talking in a singsong voice* "bastardgenres. isn't that like, such a COOL name? aren't you all like, so envious of those AWESOME PEOPLE hosted there? they write such COOL poetry. i am SO envious of them! i mean like, is that COOL or what? i think I'LL submit something!"
"roses are red *sucks on her fat thumb* "so what do you think of THAT? COOL huh?" *the girl winks* "go show your support right NOW!"
woohoo... got bg.com halfway done. Now, I have to go in and change the color schemes on all the friggin stories. But, the marjorie haiku's are up... and, the start of something... oh, crap gotta fix that too. ok, I'm off to a few games of spiritwars and then bed. night all.
whoa, people really are reading this page. I'm in shock. And, a little happy too. Actually, giggling with pride, I mean here I can't do shit with my .com and I'm gushing over the fact that people come here to see what I have to say. It just blows me the fuck away. Now, I've been bebopping from one pita to the next, seems as though all my friends are linked to sites I dont have linked. I discovered a couple new ones tonight. From damn the muse I found moonlight makes shadows. And, from there I had to go to finder of lost souls..., which brought me back to shut up and listen! I didnt start out just listing people's sites. I kept hitting my head against the wall, trying to figure out where I had heard the name allister before. I kept thinking it's from a book. I know that name. I KNOW THAT NAME! Of course, I didn't know the name. It was similar to Alander Atlasia, the main character from this WHOA of a book called The Tower. Night all, see ya later.
DAMn, damn, damn... So, my .com looks like shit. The damn ftp program is fritzing on me. And, it's halfway to looking like anything. Maybe it's because I've been up all day. So, I argh... I'm just in argh mode. Well, the good thing is that I may have the beginning of Marjorie's feature up, but still... sorry, honey if it looks like shit. I'll work on it some more in the morning. Perhaps, it's the fact that oh, fuck... I don't know why. :::sigh::: I think I might just turn off the computer and watch the practice. I think I have a story idea brimming in my head, something based on the blues, or something... but perhaps it was just because I was watching Jazz. and damn, this entire entry is all me saying perhaps. well shit.
Some nights I wonder why I even play this game. It gives me a stomach ache when I realize I'm not gonna win. I let my team mates down. When I win, the happiness is short-lived, and I have to go on and lose again. ok, one of the 89 things moving about in my head is gone. I now have to work on something else.
just can't work with 9 million things going on in my head. Alright, there are like 8 things, but I am going brain dead. And, on top of that... I can't stop watching this great show on Jazz.
NIK! It's Pamela Anderson. I had to go here first. Sheesh, it was bugging me. I even turned off my computer, but had to get back on because I'm watching a repeat. And, yeah... I know, the show is pure unadulterated camp. But, hell... we all needs camp in our lives right? ok, going to sleep... see ya all, well those who talk to me, in the mornin...
so, this is the conversation I'm having with nik... just thought it was too funny. ok, they do have anal pleasure and health... I only bought it because well, I needed to know how to get it... which I still cant. But, because, well shit... cant' think of her name... come on she's on that shit show... which I love... VIP? something something lee? the scary thing is, i know who you're talking about. *laugh* what's her name? i can't think of it, dammit! but i know the person you mean. any way she bought it... so, I had to... tommy lee and mnaybe it's cause we arent hetero males?
ok... have any of you seen the imitrex commercial? What's up with this ugly woman being in a commercial. I mean, come on... they even use a darkened copy of her face to show you the part of your brain that hurts. Now, come on... all I can think of is... Whoa, if that's what you look like after you take this imitrex pill... what's it gonna make me look like? Ever see that TV Show Mysterious Ways? Pretty cool, although I guess admiting that I like it, is like hearing your parents say: "You should watch 7th heaven bobby, it's gonna give you morals." So, the only saving grace to the fact that I watch this show is that it's also on NBC. But, I make all the fuss because here I am watching it on PAX... oh, god... I'm gonna be struck dead. ok, so I was at work tonight, and this guy who use to be gay, but now isn't because he loves his wife and kids, was next to me when I started telling about how I misread this title on a book this morning... I thought it was called Fisting for Spirituality which in fact, on closer inspection was actually, Fasting for Spirituality. Anyway, he got all embarrassed and said stop it... All I could do was laugh, and then he goes... get thee behind me... and, I'm all woohoo... alright. Then he gets all mad because I was turning almost everything he was saying into inuendo... which have you ever noticed is just the biggest inuendo?
ok, so the only cool thing about Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome, is Tina Fuckin Turner and her outfit. Oh, yeah and the song she sings at the end... I think. I remember when it came out AGES! ago, I think I had been working on a couple of movies, for like 2 days straight. And, a friend wanted to go to the movies bad. She said, lets go to MAD MAX, those things are loud. You'll be awake in no time. Fuuck that. Ever see this movie? I was asleep in like 10 mins... didn't wake up till like half way through. Just finished watching it again... and yeah, it's ok... but nothing to write home about... ahh, fuck. And, instead of hearing the great song, I have to hear more about former president ronald regan... hello... the dude's gonna be 90... does he even know this? Oh, and the end song... god, that tina can do no wrong... We don't need another hero... yeah, it was a hit when you were all like embryos, or what not. Am, I babbblin yet?
well that was shortlived... I had to sit around for a couple of other guys to finish playing thier games, when it was finally my turn. WHUMP! Im dead in like 6 rounds. I just can't seem to get past the second round of these damn tournements.
Ok gang... I'm playing in this tournement over at SpiritWars and, I won the first round. It was a fast game against the Feisty, but fair Guinevere. My hounds and my chariot quickly strode across the fields to her castle. Pounding on the doors, and destroying it in a matter of moments. It was a fast fight, and I nearly lost it when Hercules came knocking upon my castle gates. There he was standing in the mountains, and I with no defense. It was a sad day, for the woman. But a day of Victory has been won for the bastard Japheth. HUZZAAHH!
Yesterday was just a weird day. I can't believe that in todays world, someone has to go and have their journal site password protected. I mean what does that say? When the stalker is a crazy psycho bitch, who won't leave a guy alone. the guy in question, is a very good friend, who I have to thank for being in my life. I for one credit my still being around partly to him. If it weren't for this guy, I wouldn't still think I had a reason for being here. But, I have to. We made a pact, not just the recent one in regards to our writing, but a more important and lifegiving one. I'm not going to say that I never stalked him, come on we all have. There is just something about who he is, and how he makes you feel. And, I have done some things in the past that I don't care to dwell on, suffice it to say, I knew when to stop, stand back and wait. This isn't coming out the way I want it to sound. I just want to say to melissa, if you are out there, trying to sneak back in. Sneaking is not the way... and you know it. You've known it since that first night three years ago, when you didn't believe anything. So, just stop... go back to your "REAL LIFE" and stop making an ass out of yourself. And, buddy... till 30, and beyond!
ow, can we just say... pain? I was standing on the stairs talking to my mom, when I lost my footing and fell. I felt like a fool, fell like three steps on my ass, my toes grinding into the carpet. Now, I tell you, if I can't handle a little pain to these, frozen toes, what makes me think I can handle both my nipples getting skewered with silver? And, another thing... I was all ready to hop on the greymatter bandwagon, when I realized it's just one more thing to stop me from doing what I have been doing. One more offramp of procrastination. And, I'll get to the new navigation of bastardgenres when I get to it. And, check out Marjorie's great haiku's, because I can't tell you when I'm gonna be able to make her the feature at bastardgenres. I guess you could say I'm getting stressed out over so many stupid things, but in the meantime, I gotta suck up to it and continue entering books. They are starting to drive me insane, and I know as soon as they are all entered, I'll be fine, so I'm thinking I'll have to be insane for another month or so.
I'm a scaredy-cat, in case you didn't know. First thing I did when I got home, was throw my backpack in the sink and sit down to take a shit. I reached for my bag to get the new pzb book, and I saw a steady stream of black running along the side of the sink. AAAAHHHH!!!! ANTS! Reaching for the end of the toilet paper, I took my final sweep and flushed. Then the situation grew, the sink had little lines of ants everywhere, my eye followed the major trail that snaked around the cupboard, and up the wall, over the door to the shower. Now, I don't want you to think I'm a pig. It rained a lot today, and this complex has a bad thing with ants. We just don't know where they come from. Ok, so here I am... this big guy, racing to the kitchen looking for bug spray, but nada...so, I grab some paper towels and run back to the bathroom. Open the medicine cabinet, grab for the only aerosol thing and spray. So, I am killing the bugs with baby powder bathroom spray. I wipe around and around... under the sink, over the wall, across the mirror. They seem to be everywhere. And, then I make the next fatal error of the night, I throw the paper towel in the toilet. My brain said, oh... I dont think that goes there. But, I did it anyway. Finally, after two more sweeps of paper towels, I flush. When I come back with the third towel, I see that the toilet didnt flush all the way. So, I toss this third one in and as I flush my mind says... I don't... Ahh Fuck! It starts overflowing... and all I can do is go, ahh fuck, shit, fuck... god oh, damn... The mom comes downstairs and says, whats going on... ah, Joe. What happened? How long did this overflow? Jesus, why? I can't believe it, a 36 year old man afraid of some ants? So, there... I'm a fuckin baby. Can't get into all of everything, too late. and, I'm all alone tonight. So, I think Im just gonna enter some books and go to sleep. Was really stressed, but thank you nik, for getting me to take that step. And, Yas and Janna for the support and the love. And, who is this Shay... loved reading about her dream of living on an island with 4 gay men. Feeling much better, this Enya CD really calms me. Hmm, just finished editing something I wrote ages ago for an anne rice role playing thing. An insane romp, and lord knows I love insane romps... Now, what I am wondering is if I should change the names and make it an original piece, or should I submit it to one of those fanfic places and listen to the people yell at me because I may have killed Dora? Enh, who the hell was she anyway? or do I just let it linger on my hard drive? either way, I have to get offline and enter inventory... be back soon... Ok, so this has got to be my favorite date. 1.11.1, there has to be something odd that's gonna happen today. Actually, to tell you the truth a lot has happened. And, most of it happened last night. I have two of the most wonderful online friends an online addict could ever want. Sitting here, crying, realizing how much they love me. And grateful they are in my life. Sometimes, I don't believe in myself. A lot of times, I just push that part of me away, so that I could be present for everyone else in my life. So, that I can be the strong one that is here to just listen. I don't give advice, because in the past when I did. It always came back to me, and I am not a psychiatrist. But, I never listen to what my head tells me. I... we'll talk in the morning, suffice it to say... I love ya guys... thanks for the messages, I know it was what I needed to hear, even though I hated accepting it. What I'm Listening to: Enya's new CD, A Day Without Rain Well kiddies, hm, can't think of what I came on here to say, except that not much is going on in my life. Well aside from all these Harlequin Presents books that have taken over my bedroom. I convinced myself that I would get off work and enter them straightaway. Because they were all over my bed. Then I had to organize and put them in Author order, so that they will be easier to find, if and when I ever sell them. Then, I actually had a bite, someone online asked if I had any by Anne Mather, that she would be interested in buying them. I got back to her at 3:30 this morning, telling her I had 62 different titles by her. Ok, kiddies, know what that means? means, I have way fuckin more that 5000 books. if I just have 62 of that one author invading my bottom shelf, oy... what have I gotten myself into? Funny thing for me is the fact that I spent the night shelving books, and I come home, remain in my work clothes and end up spending another four hours sorting books. Ok, I have to admit... I ended up playing Spiritwars with a couple people, but still. So, I'm sitting here in sweat shirt (clean) and underwear, eating breakfast and realizing I have to be at work in an hour. going soon... I loved it when I didnt work. What I'm Watching: Matlock! So, I'm sitting here in my towel... just got out of an amazingly long and wonderful shower. The kind that you just stand in, and let the water beat you senseless, the kind that washes all the emphemera of the last two days of not washing. Yup, you got it. TWO DAYS OF NOT WASHING! God, I love that almost as much as the awesome shower I just took. Wore the same sweats too, just bathed in my stink. Basically sat in front of this computer for two days straight. And, what's more. On Saturday, I spent all day in these sweats moving and lugging and shifting all those boxes of books. Add not showering after that. Slept in them too. Ahh, these sweats have lived up to their name. But now I am shorn of them, as I sit here in my huge ass towel that is covering the lower half of my body, well not all the way, but then this isn't my smutty journal site is it. So, I'll stop there. Getting ready for work, a job that I havent been to in two days, and the one day I worked, all I did was cashier. So, it's like I havent been there for 4 days. Oh well. One of the other addictions I'm dealing with now, is this really cool game. SpiritWars is a strategic game that makes you think without having to be all flashy. I stopped only when someone broke my 11 game winning streak. Ok, gotta finish this up so nik can take a look at how gross I can be. I promise peeps, I can get much more gross. |